


The Depths Of Despair

by felineranger



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Incest, M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 14:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17727215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineranger/pseuds/felineranger
Summary: After being captured by the fascist cops in ‘Back To Reality’, Lister gets to meet the real Voter-Colonel.





	The Depths Of Despair

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the kink-meme ask:   
> ‘While fleeing the fascist cops in BTR, the posse get caught and dragged before the real Voter-Colonel, who doesn’t believe their story. He decides to use unconventional methods to get his imposter to talk.’
> 
> Not sure if this is quite what OP was after, but it’s what my brain gave me.

The crew dived down an alleyway and a police van screeched to a halt ahead of them, blocking the exit.  The flashing red and blue lights made the shadows dance and jump in a nightmarish strobe. “We’re trapped!” Rimmer cried out in dismay.   
“We’re gonna die!” Cat - no,  _ Dwayne _ \- wailed pitifully.  “I don’t wanna die in an anorak!”   
Lister, fighting down the panic rising inside him, took a deep breath.  “Maybe there’s still a way out of this.” He squared his shoulders as four cops came barrelling towards them, guns drawn.  “Just let me do the talking, okay?”   
“What the hell are you playing at?” Rimmer demanded, his face grey with dread.   
“I’m the Voter-Colonel, right?  Then I outrank these a-holes.”   
“But Lister, you...”   
“Not Lister.  Colonel Doyle.”   
  
“Put your hands up!” the female cop leading the charge barked.   
“Relax,” Lister replied, stepping forward into the light.  He put his hands up just in case. “You can stand down. It’s me.”   
He heard the gasp as they recognised him.  “Voter-Colonel!” one whispered fearfully.   
“ _ You _ shot that officer?” the woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously.   
“No.  My friend here did.  On my orders.”   
“Why?”   
“You dare question me?”   
“I will need to report something back to my superiors.”   
“ _ I _ am your superior,” Lister moved a step closer, staring her down.  “And you are interfering with my business. Get back in your car and forget what you saw here tonight.”   
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Sir.”   
“Why not?”   
To Lister’s surprise, she too took a step forward, meeting his stare dead-on.  “Because you are not Colonel Doyle.”   
  
Lister’s stomach dropped.  “What do you mean? Of course I am.  Don’t you recognise me, you idiot?”   
“Loretta,” one of the cops behind her spoke up, voice shaking, “are you sure about this?”   
“Listen to your buddy, Sweetheart,” Lister gave her a small tight smile.  “It’d be a shame if I had to execute someone as pretty as you.”   
She returned the smile.  “Forgive me, Colonel. But I must be sure.  May I see the ring on your right hand for a moment?”  Lister held his hand out. She grabbed his wrist, body-slammed him to the ground and cuffed him.  “If I wasn’t sure before,” she told him, “then I sure as hell am now.” She yelled at her fellow officers.  “Don’t just stand there! Cuff the rest of them!”   
“You’re going to regret this!” Lister warned her.   
“I don’t think so.  See, I’m one of the few people who actually knows exactly where Colonel Doyle is right now.  In fact, I’m one of the few people who actually  _ knows _ Colonel Doyle.”  She leaned over him.  “So let me share a few little facts with you.  There’s no way that move would have worked on him, he’d have broken my arm.  He would never be seen dead with a ponytail. And he doesn’t call anyone ‘Sweetheart’.  Certainly not me. If you don’t know any of that, then I think it’s time you met him.”   
  
The four of them were thrown into the back of the grey windowless van and it sped away.  “Great plan, Colonel,” Rimmer sniped.   
“No talking.” One of the cops waved a gun at them threateningly.  Lister was lost in thought anyway. His ID said he was Doyle. That cop back at the arcade had certainly thought he was.  So what was going on here? Was this some kind of set-up? A hoax? Something at the back of his mind was insisting that the cop who’d taken him down looked familiar.  He was sure he’d seen her face before. Was his memory returning?   
  
The van headed out of the city.  After about an hour, it slowed to a stop.  They exchanged anxious looks as the driver barked a clearance code at someone, then they slowly rumbled onward.  The ground beneath them changed to a smooth downhill slope, and the sound of the engine echoed against walls. They were inside, driving down into some kind of military bunker.  The air became colder as they descended.   
  
Eventually they came to a final halt and the engine died.  They were dragged out of the van under harsh lights, and separated.  Men in black uniforms marched them down a long steel-lined hallway into different rooms.   
  
Still cuffed, Lister was shoved down into a black metal chair.  The guards stood over him menacingly. “So now what?” he asked nervously.   
“Now we wait for the boss.”   
Lister tried again, “You are making a huge mistake.  I’m telling you, it’s me. _I’m_ Colonel Doyle! I’m...”  His protests faded away to a stunned silence as another man entered the room.  He was dressed in charcoal grey trousers and a spotless white shirt. There was a gleaming black pistol holstered on his hip.  His silky hair was neatly clipped into a stylish and flattering shape. The man was, in all other respects, identical to him. “You were saying?” Sebastian Doyle prompted coolly.    
Lister was speechless.  How was this possible? “I don’t...I don’t understand...” he managed to whisper.   
Doyle turned to the cops, “Bring him to the interrogation room.”   
  
Two of them grabbed Lister’s arms and dragged him out of the cell, following Doyle to a larger room down the corridor.  As they entered, he looked around and tried not to panic. This room was, unmistakably, a torture chamber. “Please...” he managed to whisper frantically, before Doyle spoke again, cutting him off.   
“Take off the cuffs.  Then strip him down and string him up.”   
“No!  Wait...!” He had no chance to protest further before one of cops punched him brutally in the stomach.  Doubled over in pain, fighting for air, he was helpless as they pulled the clothes from his body under Doyle’s unflinching gaze.  When he was naked, they dragged him to the centre of the room and pulled down a long metal pipe attached to a bungee cord. There was a long strand of rope running through the middle, which they used to tightly bind his wrists at either end, stretching his arms out uncomfortably.  When they let go, the bungee cord snapped back, pulling his arms up above his head, and almost lifting him off his feet. He gasped breathlessly, struggling to keep his balance. “Would you like him gagged, Voter-Colonel?” one of the cops asked.   
“No,” Doyle replied calmly.  He walked over and stood toe to toe with Lister.  “I want him to  _ talk _ .”  He dismissed the pair, “Leave him with me now.  I’ll summon you if I require anything more.” They saluted and headed for the door.  “Oh. One more thing.” Doyle didn’t take his eyes from Lister’s. “Send my brother up here.”   
  
The door slammed shut behind them.  Lister was reeling with pain, fear, and confusion.  How was this man his exact double? Were they twins?  Was Rimmer not his only brother in this life? If he wasn’t really Sebastian then was Rimmer really William?  If he wasn’t Dave Lister or Sebastian Doyle then who the hell was he?   
  
“Listen,” he ventured tremulously, “I can’t tell you anything, man.  I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t even know who...” Doyle struck him hard across the face, the sound of the blow almost as shocking as the impact.  Lister staggered.   
“You know nothing?” Doyle asked coldly.  “How very convenient. Maybe I should refresh your memory by telling you what I already know.”   
  
He crossed the room and grabbed a chair.  Lister watched him, fascinated despite himself.  For all that they were mirror images, there were some unmistakable differences.  Everything about Doyle’s body language screamed ‘military’. He didn’t walk, he marched.  His movements were precise and efficient, and the body beneath those beautifully tailored clothes was obviously fit, firm, and toned.   The voter-colonel clearly kept himself in good shape. Along with the perfectly styled hair, the image he projected was of a steely perfectionism that Lister found both alien and unnerving.  No wonder Officer Loretta had twigged right away he was an imposter.   
  
Doyle pulled up the chair and sat backwards in it, fixing Lister with a stare.  “Four years ago, a group of dissidents devised a vile conspiracy to try and topple the government from within.  Their plan was to kill me and replace me with a lookalike under their control. He would take over my life, command of my troops, and stage a coup to seize power.  Any of this sound familiar?” Lister shook his head numbly. “They managed to gain the trust of my wastrel half-brother. The plot was to lure me to a certain location to deal with him following one of his frequent fits of intoxication.  Once I arrived, they would kill us both, and replace us with their own agents. Fortunately, their scheme was uncovered just in time. The ringleaders were apprehended, but some of the conspirators - including the doppelgängers - managed to flee and go into hiding.”   
“Okay,” Lister croaked, “I see how in the circumstances you might be jumping to conclusions here.”  Doyle raised a single unimpressed eyebrow. “I know how this looks...” Lister started to say.   
“A man posing as me, who happens to be my exact double, is picked up in the company of a man who looks like and claims to be my brother, both carrying false documents and wearing the very clothes that were originally stolen from me for the purpose of the switch.  Yes, I know how this looks too.”   
  
Lister gulped.  What could he say?  How could he claim innocence when he had no counter argument?  He had no memory of any of this, or indeed anything other than that damned Red Dwarf game, so what defence did he have?  If what Doyle was saying was true then it sounded like he probably  _ was _ guilty.     
  
“If you know all this already then what more do you want from me?” he asked nervously.   
“We’ll get to that.”   
“I don’t know anything!”   
“Is that so?”   
“Look, I have spent the last four years in a computer game.  I only woke up from it maybe an hour ago. I have no memory of my previous life, or anything I did.  Literally nothing. Zero. I don’t even know who I am.” A sudden thought occurred to him. “But  _ you _ must know.  There’s no way it’s a coincidence that we look so alike.  We must be related somehow. If I’m not Sebastian Doyle then who am I?”   
  
“You pathetic imbecile.”  Doyle got up from the chair and leaned into Lister’s face.  “You’re my clone.”   
Lister’s mind swam, “I’m what?”   
“Isn’t it obvious?  Even twins aren’t this identical, for god’s sake.  One of my servants, the same traitor who took the clothes you were wearing from my house, provided them with my DNA.  You want to know why you can’t remember anything about your ‘previous’ life?” Doyle made mocking inverted commas in the air.  “Because you don’t  _ have _ one.  You were created for the purpose of their plot, just like your friend down the hall.  You’re nothing. You’re no-one. You’re just a little dancing puppet who’s had his strings cut.”  Doyle grabbed one end of the pole and shoved it hard, sending Lister spinning helplessly. He scrabbled with his bare feet and finally managed to steady himself as the bungee cord untwisted, but the dizziness left him weak and slightly sick.   
  
“Four years,” Doyle hissed.  “Four years, I’ve had to wait.  Forced into hiding here in this filthy bunker, exiled from my life and my career.  Until you were caught, I couldn’t risk anything else. All access to my home, my work, to the Ministry itself, everything had to stop to ensure you couldn’t compromise security.  I have been waiting for this day for a  _ very _ long time.”   
  
Lister started to shiver, as much from the shock of Doyle’s revelation as the cold air of the cell.  In the space of an hour he’d gone from being the last man alive, to a fascist psychopath, to a clone with no identity at all.   _ You’re nothing.  You’re no-one. _ __   
  
“I still can’t tell you anything,” he whispered pleadingly.  “I don’t remember anything.”   
“That’s okay,” Doyle smiled.  “I’m going to have a lot of fun jogging your memory.”   
“No.  No, no, no.”  Lister watched in horror as Sebastian walked to the rack full of tools on the wall and returned carrying a taser.  He put his left arm around Lister’s neck in a cruel mockery of tenderness, his hand stroking the now disheveled ponytail.  “They let your hair grow long in that place. I can’t say I approve. Still it’s better than the state of your friend, the one masquerading as my brother.  Since Billy’s been shut down here with me, I’ve managed to instill a little more discipline in him. In some ways anyway.” His eyes locked on to Lister’s. “Tell me, did they use you to lure him in?”   
“What?” Lister whispered, frightened and bewildered.   
“I know it started with the drinking.  Sharing some booze with mates. A bit of seemingly harmless tittle-tattle.  Billy has never been the sharpest tool in the box...” Sebastian pressed the cold electrodes of the taser hard against the naked skin of Lister’s chest, making him whimper, “...but he’s a total moron once he’s had a few.  Once he was too wrecked to tell the difference, did they bring you out to whisper with him? To coax out some secrets?”   
“No.  N...n...no...”   
“How do you know?  I thought you couldn’t remember anything.”   
“I can’t!”   
  
Pain convulsed Lister’s body as Sebastian tasered him.  The harsh spasms of the muscles across his chest made it feel like his heart was exploding.  Sebastian’s fist gripped his hair, holding him in place. It only lasted five seconds, but it felt eternal.  He was left gasping and trembling. “Let’s try again. Did they use you to get information from Billy?”   
“I don’t know!  I don’t know! Ask him!”   
“I’m asking you.  I’ve already asked Billy, and not nearly as nicely.”   
“Well, it’s true!  Whatever he told you is true!”   
“Really?”  The taser fired again, making Lister scream.  Sebastian didn’t even blink at the pain he was causing.  “If what Billy told me is all true, that he never saw you with them, that he never even  mentioned my name, then how did they know?”   
“Know what?” Lister sobbed.   
“That their plan would work?  How did they know I would come for him and not just send my men to kill him for being an inconvenience and an embarrassment?  What did they know that made them so confident?”   
“I don’t know.  I mean...he’s your brother.  You must be reasonably close, right?” Lister panted, pain-sweat dripping from his body.   
To his surprise, Sebastian actually laughed. “Trust me, Billy and I are not nearly as close as he would like.  And I am not known for sentiment.”   
  
The door creaked open, and William Doyle cautiously tiptoed in.  Surprisingly, like Sebastian, he also appeared to be in excellent physical shape.  His hair was cut short and his clothes were neat. He showed no outward sign of being the human wreck that the artefacts at the arcade had suggested.  He stared open-mouthed at the tableau that greeted him; Lister splayed out naked and quivering in Sebastian’s arms. “You found him.”   
“We found them both.”  Sebastian let go of Lister and approached his brother.  “Finally we’re close to clearing up the fucking mess you made.”   
“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?”   
“More,” Sebastian replied sharply.   
“It wasn’t all my fault.  It wasn’t my plot, dammit.  I was an innocent victim.”   
“You’ve never been innocent in your miserable life.”   
  
William looked nervously at Lister, “What has he told you?”   
“Nothing useful.  Yet.” Sebastian shrugged, “There’s no rush.  Now that he’s secured we have all the time we need to get info out of him.  I can finally get back to work, start crushing some of those infuriating rumours.”   
“And a few people too no doubt.”   
“Yes.  Depending on what he tells me about how much you blabbed, pray you aren’t one of them.”   
“Empty threats, Seb.  You would have killed me long before now if you were going to do it.”   
He collapsed screaming as Sebastian thrust the taser into his stomach and fired it.  It seemed like a long time before he released the trigger.   
“Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking you know me, Billy,” he replied coldly.  “Or what I might do.”   
To Lister’s shock, William laughed even as he lay curled in a ball on the floor.  “Oh, it’s the thrill of not knowing that keeps me alive.”   
“Get up.” Sebastian ordered him, clearly irritated.   
  
William staggered to his feet.  His gaze fixed on Lister in a way that was deeply unsettling.  “What are you going to do with him? Once he’s told you everything?”   
“I’m sure he’ll have his uses,” Sebastian remarked, “once he’s thoroughly broken in.  An uncanny ability to be in two places at once will do wonders for my fearsome reputation.  He can take care of some of my more unpleasant or tedious tasks. And if it comes to it...” he gave a nasty smile, “...he’ll be an excellent decoy for any more would-be assassins.”   
Lister felt his insides twist.  “So you’re just going to keep me as a slave?”   
Sebastian slapped him again, hard.  “Slave is too fancy a word for what you are.  Remember, you are not a real person. You are my clone, just a genetic photocopy of me, and my legal property.  Be grateful that I’m not just going to slaughter you and harvest your organs for spares. Although come to think of it, that’s another way you might yet be of use.”   
  
“I can think of some uses for him right now,” Billy growled, his eyes raking over Lister’s naked body in a way that made his skin crawl.   
Sebastian’s jaw clenched, “I bet you can.  But keep those thoughts to yourself.”   
“Why?  Wasn’t that the point of dragging me in here to see this?  To get me hot and bothered?”   
“You keep your dirty hands off.” Sebastian warned.  “ _ Both _ of us.”  Lister listened to the two of them with growing shock and disgust, hoping he was misunderstanding this somehow.   
  
“What did you summon me for then?  It’s not like you need my help to torture anyone.  You’re the pro, after all.”   
“I thought it might serve as a useful reminder of what I can still do to you if you piss me off enough.”   
“I’m more than aware of what you’re capable of,” Billy responded bitterly.  “Just admit it, you’re not doing this to threaten me. You’re doing it to tease me.”   
“No, it is absolutely a threat.” Sebastian shot Lister a poisonous glance.  “To you as well. If you don’t like the idea of belonging to me, we can always see how you like belonging to my repulsive brother for a few days.  Perhaps it might actually stop him from bothering me for a while.”    
“More empty threats, Seb.  I know you won’t let me have him.  You’d never be that kind.  _ And _ you’d be way too jealous.”   
“Fuck off, Billy.” Sebastian spat.  He didn’t give his brother the satisfaction of turning around, but Lister saw a look on his face that was dark and conflicted.   
  
Billy came and stood close behind him, whispering adoringly in his ear.  “Simmer down. You know it’s not really him I want. He’s not as beautiful as you.  He’s not as strong or fit. And his hair’s a mess.”   
“That’s what spending years in a computer game does to you,” Sebastian replied stiffly.  “He’ll shape up.”   
“Maybe.  But he won’t  _ smell _ like you,” The very tip of Billy’s nose brushed the soft tresses at the base of Sebastian’s neck.  His lips were barely a millimetre from his skin. “He’ll. Never. Be.  _ You _ .”  For a second, just a second, Lister saw Sebastian’s eyes drift closed, saw him draw a breath.  Suddenly his arm snapped back violently, driving his elbow into Billy’s stomach. “Knock it off.  Get the hell away from me. You’re disgusting.”   
  
“What is wrong with you two?” Lister whispered, appalled.  “God, you’re brothers, for smeg’s sake.”   
“ _ Half _ -brothers,” Billy corrected him with a wheeze.  “And what can I say? I’m devoted to my dear little bro.”   
“Billy has issues,” Sebastian snapped.   
“Ha!  And you don’t?  You’re the one who insisted I had to spend the last four years in this hellhole with you.”   
“Because you can’t be trusted out there without supervision!  That’s why we’re in this mess in the first place!”   
“Riiiight.  Is that also why I have to get up  _ every single morning _ to work out with you?  Or will you admit that’s just so you can watch me pant and sweat and strain?  I know you like watching me, almost as much as you like making me watch you.”   
“It’s because you need the fucking exercise.  You need the discipline. Have you seen the state of that pitiful clown down the hallway?  That’s what you were when we first came here. A doughy lump of flesh reeking of booze. Look at you now.”   
“You like what you see now, Seb?  All that discipline isn’t just for my benefit, is it?”    
  
“Enough,” Sebastian told him coldly.  “You’re done. Get out.”   
“What?  I don’t get to stay and see the rest of this show?”  His eyes went back to Lister, “This is a dream. When am I going to get another chance to watch you being the mesmerising sadistic bastard you are, at the same time as watching you break into a million little pieces?”   
“Never.  Get out.”   
“C’mon, let me help.”  Billy smiled cruelly, his eyes alight with hunger.  “You know I can come up with some interesting ways of making him talk.”     
  
Lister felt goosebumps rise on his skin.  Terrifying as Sebastian was on his own, the idea of being sexually tortured by the pair of them as a conduit for their fucked-up obsession with each other under the paper-thin guise of interrogation made him tremble.   
  
“You’re not laying a finger on me.   _ Any _ me.  Ever.” Sebastian growled.   
“Please, Seb.  Let me stay. Just for a bit.”  Billy was almost drooling. “If I can’t touch you, then let me watch you beg.  Let me hear you scream.”   
“I’m not doing this for your sick titillation!  I still have work to do. There’s info I still need.  For starters I’m going to find out if his story matches yours.”   
  
Lister saw Billy’s face twitch, his mood abruptly changing, and Sebastian’s earlier words came back to him.   _ Did they use you to lure him in?... How did they know I would come for him? _  Suddenly he knew exactly what crucial info it was that Sebastian was so afraid Billy had exposed.     
  
And he knew that whatever story Billy had told him was a lie.   
  
In the space of one slow breath, Lister saw a clear choice in front of him.  He could spend however many hellish hours or days, or even weeks, trapped in this room with his unhinged double, being tortured for knowledge he just didn’t possess.  He could spend the rest of his life in soul-destroying captivity, being forced to carry out atrocities, and used in any number of grotesque ways as his master saw fit.  His body would become property; a medical resource, a human shield to protect Sebastian from illness, violence, maybe even from the lustful desires of his depraved brother.  Or he could summon his courage and try to end this now. It wouldn’t be pretty, but it might at least be brief.   
  
“You want info?” Lister asked, his voice unsteady.  “I’ll give you some info. I fucked your big brother.  How does that match up to his story?”   
  
He took a certain amount of sick satisfaction from the looks on both their faces in that moment.  Sebastian took a step towards him, “What did you say?”   
“He’s lying.  Seb, he’s  _ lying _ .”   
“Why would I lie?  What more do I have to lose here?” Lister challenged.     
“Talk,” Sebastian ordered.   
“It’s not true!  I swear...” Billy’s pleas were cut off by the taser.  As he lay moaning on the floor, Sebastian stalked back to Lister.  He shoved the taser threateningly under his balls.    
“ _ Talk _ .”   
“Are you really surprised?” Lister asked.  “Come on, this is how he behaves around you sober, you know what he’s like when he’s drunk.  You’re all he talks about. It didn’t take long for us to figure out you’re his weakness.” He forced a pitying smile onto his face.  “It didn’t take that much more digging to realise that he’s yours.”   
  
The taser set his world on fire.  White hot pain crackled through the very core of his being.     
“What did he say?”   
“It started off as bragging.  How he’s untouchable, how no-one dares mess with him.  How he does whatever he likes, and you always protect him.  No matter how angry you get, you  _ always _ protect him.”  Lister saw a flicker of something in Sebastian’s eyes which may have been anger, but looked more like self-disgust.  “Sooner or later, everyone who knows him starts to realise he has a point. Why is it that the coldest, most ruthless man in the Ministry keeps bailing out this obnoxious mess time and time again?  Anyone else would have been dead by now, but Billy Doyle gets chance after chance. There’s something here beyond normal family loyalty. And they’re only  _ half _ -brothers, after all.  So a few more drinks, a few probing questions, and...”   
“Shut up,” Billy said from the floor.  “Sebastian, he’s making this up as he goes along.”   
“...and before you know it, he’s telling the whole room about his little brother’s perfect arse.”   
  
Sebastian’s face flamed red.  He threw Billy a look filled with pure venom.  “It’s not true!” Billy shouted.   
“Of course, he gets blackout drunk, doesn’t remember a thing.  So the next time we slip a little something in his drink, get him flying nice and high.  Then I appear. Billy doesn’t know if I’m real, a dream, or a hallucination, but he doesn’t care.  He just sees Sebastian. He answers every question I throw at him, every single one. And when his hands start to wander, I allow it, and the more I allow it the more excited he gets.  Finally he spills out the words everyone watching is waiting for, ‘I always knew you’d cave eventually’.”   
  
The pain from the taser split him in two again, and Lister’s knees gave way.  He dangled from his wrists, fighting back the urge to vomit. “Who was there?” Sebastian demanded.  “Who saw? Give me names.”   
“It’s too late,” Lister croaked.  “When the plot dissolved we all scattered to the winds.  The ones who escaped shared what they knew with anyone and everyone who would listen.  You want to go back to work and crush the rumours? You don’t even know what the real rumours are, because nobody is brave enough to tell you.  As far as the world out there is concerned, you aren’t taking a sabbatical, you’re not dead, or undercover. You’re holed up in a cozy bunker just like this one, fucking your brother.”   
  
Sebastian dropped the taser and punched him in the face, three times.  Hard. As Lister coughed on his blood, Sebastian turned on Billy. “You lied to me.”   
“No!  I...  _ He’s _ lying, ok?  That’s not how it happened!”   
“How what happened?  You told me  _ nothing _ happened.”   
“I didn’t think anything had!  I thought it was just a fantasy, a trip!  For fuck’s sake, I dream about you all the time even when I’m  _ not _ wasted!”   
“You said you never even mentioned me!  Now I find out that you performed sex acts on my clone in front of an audience?”   
“I didn’t think any of it was real!”     
Sebastian kicked him hard in the gut.  “You idiot! You stupid perverted piece of shit!  Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”   
  
“What are you so upset about,  _ Seb _ ?” Lister asked mockingly.  He could feel his bottom lip was swollen and split.  “Is it the idea that the whole world now knows the Voter-Colonel has a weak spot?  Is it the fact they know it’s in the form of a twisted incestuous relationship with his loser of a half-brother?”  He spat blood. “Or are you just pissed because you have to suffer all that humiliation, all the damage to your reputation and pride, and you weren’t even the one who got to fuck Billy?”   
  
Sebastian snatched hold of the taser again and hit Lister with a long blast that left him semi-conscious, then slapped him back to lucidity.  “What did you do? Tell me everything.”   
“Hey, I’m not a person remember?  I’m just a puppet. I’m not responsible for any of what we did.”   
Sebastian grabbed him by the throat and shook him.  “ _ What did you do? _ ”    
“You name it, we did it,” Lister rasped.  “Your Billy is a dirty, dirty boy, but I’ll tell you this: he’s got stamina.  You should really give him a try.”    
“You shut your filthy mouth.  He’ll be lucky if he leaves this room alive, and so will you.”   
“Sebastian...”. The sound of Billy’s voice made the hands around Lister’s throat tighten.   
“You won’t kill him.  He’s right, you want him, no matter how hard you try and fight it.”   
“I do  _ not _ .”   
“Yes, you do. You want him. Why keep pretending?” Lister whispered.  “What’s left to stop you? It’s over, everybody knows.”   
“Sebastian, don’t listen to him.  It’s not true! It’s not real.”   
“The  _ whole world _ knows.”   
Sebastian grabbed the gun from his holster and prised open Lister’s mouth, forcing the barrel in deep.  “Sebastian, snap out of it! Put the gun down! It’s not real!” Billy shouted insistently.    
  
Lister stared up into his own eyes.  They were black with rage and determination...and despair.  He realised, with a certain amount of bitter triumph, that maybe  _ none _ of them were going to make it out of this room alive.  “It’s not real!” Billy screamed again.   
Sebastian’s eyes narrowed, one hand still squeezing Lister’s throat as his other hand tightened on the trigger.  “I hope you enjoy the taste of this as much as you enjoyed the taste of my brother’s cock, you son of a bitch.”   
“Lister, stop!  It’s not real! You’re hallucinating!”  Lister blinked in confusion.  _ Lister?   _ “You’re hallucinating!”  His vision was blurring, his lungs running out of air.  He blinked again -   
  
“ _ You’re hallucinating! _ ”   
  
\- and when he opened his eyes everything had changed.  His head was spinning. There were lights. Figures around him.  As the world slowly came into focus, he realised he was in Starbug’s mid-section.  Cat and Kryten were gripping him, trying desperately to wrestle his arms back, and he was choking, gagging.  He coughed, staggered, and suddenly realised it was his own hand on his throat. He was choking himself. There was something in his mouth.  He went limp with shock and let them wrestle his arms to his sides. The handgun clutched tightly in his fingers slid out of his mouth and he stared at it in dazed horror.  “Lister, put the gun down!” Rimmer’s voice screeched again from somewhere near his ear. “Put it down!”   
  
He obeyed, letting it fall from his hand.  He watched it tumble to the floor almost in slow motion.  The clang as it hit the ground echoed in his brain. “Phew,” Holly’s voice said.  “I thought you weren’t going to make it. Welcome back to reality.”   
  
Cat and Kryten cautiously let go of him, and he raised trembling hands to his throbbing face, then winced at the swelling and bruising he found.  The knuckles of his right hand were split and bloody. “What happened?” he croaked, his legs still shaking.   
“You had a group hallucination, brought on by the Despair Squid.  You were about to commit suicide, until the mood-stabiliser saved you.”     
  
Now that he was awake again, Lister began to see the logic of it all.  The hallucination had targeted the things that would hurt each of them the most.  Cat’s cool, Kryten’s programming, Rimmer’s ego. And for him, his humanity. Among other things.  He even recognised the cop who’d arrested him now. Loretta, the bad girl of his AR fantasies. Only in this hallucination, his treatment of her had earned him a well-deserved arse-kicking.  He thought it would be a while before he played that game again.   
  
“So it wasn’t real.  None of it was real.” he sagged gratefully into a chair.    
“Nope.  Just a big mental con to trick you into offing yourselves.  It wore off Kryten and Rimmer pretty quick, and it didn’t take long to drag Cat round, but you were in deep.  What did you see?”   
  
For some reason, what flashed through Lister’s brain wasn’t the pain of the taser, or the threat of living out his days as the voter-colonel’s expendable clone.  It was Sebastian’s face,  _ his _ face, as Billy’s lips hovered over his neck, just a breath away from touching him.   _ You want him.  No matter how hard you try and fight it.   _ __   
  
He looked up and saw Rimmer’s anxious face peering down at him.   _ If I can’t touch you, then let me watch you beg.  Let me hear you scream.  _ __   
  
Lister swallowed hard.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”   
  
  
  



End file.
